Handling rejection

No matter how big or small, rejection can hurt us all.

 

Rejection can be difficult, but unfortunately, it is unavoidable and a part of life, whether it’s personal, professional, or romantic. Experiencing rejection can be extremely painful, like an emotional bruise, but learning how to cope with rejection in healthy ways is a useful skill that can be applied throughout your life. 

Even though rejection can be discouraging, recognising that it is normal whilst developing effective skills to help pick yourself up can help you navigate through difficult times. To build resilience to rejection, here are five things you can try to help you get out of a rut. 

1. Recognise and accept rejection is a part of life 

It can be hard to accept, but some things are just not meant to be. Try acknowledging how you are feeling instead of brushing it to the side. Naming how you feel, such as “I feel sad” or “I feel disappointed” can help reduce the intensity of these emotions and take back some control. 

There is no set timeline for getting over rejection and its associated emotions; however, instead of just tolerating the painful feelings, you could reconsider this experience as an opportunity for self-growth. Rejection can be the risk of putting ourselves out of our comfort zone and taking opportunities to live the life we want. Even if it doesn’t work out the first time, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future. So, by looking at the situation objectively, we can change how we approach a similar situation in the future, thus growing from each experience and changing our relationship with rejection. 

2. Be compassionate to yourself 

Are you being too hard on yourself?

A very unhelpful thing you can do when faced with the painful emotions of rejection is to beat yourself up over it. It can be easy to overthink, engage in negative self-talk and become so wrapped up in dissecting the rejection, but this will only do more harm in the long run. It can be challenging to bounce back after rejection as it can knock your confidence, so it is okay to take some time out to focus on yourself and engage in activities you know will being you joy. Practising self-compassion and talking kindly to yourself can help build you up when you feel knocked down. 

3. Don’t let this rejection define you 

It can be easy to start seeing rejection as a reflection of yourself. But these negative thoughts can be extremely damaging when we start questioning our self-worth. It can be helpful to remember that you could be the crispest and most delicious apple on the tree, but some people don’t like apples, and that’s okay. 

If you are too afraid of rejection, it could hold you back from going for the life that you want to live. Give yourself credit for what you can do, as you are more than this experience. So, remind yourself of all your other positive qualities and areas of value in life and do not let rejection or the fear of rejection define you. 

4. Keep everything in perspective 

Putting everything in perspective can help you bounce back from feeling low about rejection. Building confidence and a healthy sense of self-worth doesn’t mean you won’t feel the pain of rejection. However, learning to accept what happened and process the emotions that come along with it can help you keep everything in perspective. No matter how uncomfortable or painful it can be to experience rejection, keeping everything in perspective will help you change your relationship with it.

5. Lean on someone

When we feel hurt or low, it is natural to want to withdraw ourselves from others or even lash out, which can make us feel worse. Talking through what happened and how you are feeling with someone you trust can help get things off your chest, process what happened and begin the healing process. 

Getting professional support could be helpful if you are struggling with low mood or getting out of a rut. A therapist can help you develop effective coping skills to handle rejection that you can refer to back to for next time you experience rejection. Even just having the space to express your experience in a non-judgmental environment can be powerful and help you process how you are feeling.

Something to keep in mind

Rejection can hurt and be extremely disappointing; however, everyone will experience it at some point, so accepting this will help you bounce back. Just remember that being rejected isn’t necessarily a reflection of you; it’s just a reality of life, but you have control over your response and its impact on your life.

If you would like to talk to us about psychological therapy you can email us at hello@nepsychology.co.uk, call 07870 241970 or use the contact page.  We are experienced Clinical Psychologists offering a range of psychological therapies.

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