Thankfully the pandemic is slowly becoming a memory of the past, however, the trauma it inflicted worldwide will continue to linger for a long time to come. It may take years for life to return to normal again, and for those who have lost someone, it will never be the same.

When we reflect on this period, common feelings that stir up are the fear of uncertainty, feeling helpless and mourning the loss of loved ones and lost time. 2020 saw a dramatic increase in anxiety, depression, and burnout worldwide and these feelings don’t just go away overnight. Our anxiety systems are developed to help us survive threatening situations, but for some the uncertainty of the pandemic and daily threats and stressors persistently activated these systems. This constant activation of our anxiety systems puts them on high alert making us feel more anxious over small everyday things that wouldn’t be an issue before the pandemic.

Looking back on the pandemic years, it’s easy to spiral and feed distressing thoughts and feelings about missed opportunities, cancelled plans and the time lost. We grieved the loss of human connection, productivity and in many cases purpose. Grief is a natural part of life, but it looks different for everyone, as some may appear (but not necessarily are) able to handle it better than others. It is also not solely experienced with the loss of a loved one as it can also be associated with other substantial losses like the time lost to the pandemic.

Here are some things that could help you take control of pandemic-related grief of lost time:

Don’t fight it

The advice given to swimmers if they find themselves caught in a rip current is not to fight it, but to remain calm and float until they can safely swim back to shore. The same can be said for embracing the changes and disrupted routines that have emerged since the pandemic. Sometimes it’s necessary not to fight change but adapt and go with it.

The pandemic taught us a valuable lesson on building resilience against life’s uncertainties and that even a worldwide pandemic is only temporary with better times to come.

Give yourself time

Try and cut yourself some slack and recognise what you have overcome. If you are grieving or feeling anxious and overwhelmed, don’t dismiss these feelings but be kind and compassionate to yourself in these moments. It can feel easier to just suppress these emotions but processing them either alone, with loved ones or with a therapist can help you acknowledge how you are feeling and reduce their control over you.

You are allowed to grieve what you lost and don’t have to rationalise your feelings because someone else may have had it worse. There are no quick fixes to these thoughts and feelings so make space for processing them and take each day as it comes.

Change your perspective

The pandemic taught us how precious our time is and how we spend it truly is. So, when we think back to the pandemic it can feel emotional thinking about what opportunities and experiences we have missed out on. It can be easy to wallow in regret of what could have been however, just because we are grieving this lost time it doesn’t mean the future isn’t full of opportunities. Try to make space to grieve what was lost but don’t become too fixated on it so you miss out on living in the present or feeling excited about the future.

There is no way of getting back the time lost to the pandemic, but the future is full of possibilities and opportunities if you put yourself out there.