What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem reflects the overall opinion you have of yourself. High self-esteem means you believe in your value and worth in multiple areas of your life regardless of what is thrown at you. Having healthy self-esteem plays an important role in your overall wellbeing and general happiness.
Unfortunately having low self-esteem tends to have the opposite effect. It can be detrimental to our relationships, motivation, confidence, and mental wellbeing. People with low self-esteem often find it difficult to cope with stress or setbacks which can be damaging to their overall quality of life.
Thankfully our self-esteem is not fixed therefore it can change over time. There are a few things you can try to help build up your self-esteem. It can be a bit daunting at first and there are no overnight miracles but with practice, it will become easier.
So here are 5 things you can try to improve your self-esteem.
1. Be kind to yourself
Thoughts in our internal world can have a powerful influence on our feelings, including how you feel about yourself. If the thoughts are very critical and constantly bringing you down this will harm your self-esteem. Ask yourself if you would say to someone else the negative things you say to yourself? Making mistakes is part of being human so don’t be too harsh on yourself.
If the thoughts are constantly telling you that you are not good enough, then write down three things you are good at or list the things you like about yourself. If you find this difficult, try and think about what a friend or family member would say.
2. Become aware of your thoughts
Our thoughts can have a powerful effect on how we behave and feel if we let them take control. This is why it is so important we keep our thoughts in check before they become overwhelming. Paying attention to any thoughts that harm your self-esteem can help reduce their hold on you.
Next time you find yourself entertaining negative thoughts try;
- Countering these thoughts with something more realistic or positive
- Create some distance between them by writing how you are feeling down or saying it out loud.
- Practice mindfulness
- Ask yourself if you would say this to a friend?
- Ask yourself if your thoughts are based on facts or opinions
Remember you are not your thoughts so don’t let them control your life.
3. Challenge yourself
Give yourself permission to try something new and challenge yourself. People with low self-esteem tend to avoid this. Setting small goals and acknowledging your success when you accomplish something can help to boost your self-esteem. Make sure they are achievable and something you enjoy as you are more likely to see things through if you enjoy them. This could be 10-minute yoga or a run, a skincare routine, painting, or cooking. The possibilities are endless but remember you don’t have to be perfect at everything you do.
4. Stop comparing
Being trapped constantly comparing yourself to others can be very damaging to your self-esteem. Especially online we don’t always get the full picture – we tend to only see the happy moments in people’s lives. Try and keep this in mind the next time you compare yourself to someone either online or in-person.
Rather than comparing yourself to others try and focus on your personal development. One helpful exercise to boost self-esteem is thinking about what someone with good self-esteem looks like to you. Write these qualities down and try and come up with ways that would help you live in line with these qualities. Strive to be the best version of yourself and live the way you want to live without worrying about what other people are doing.
5. Support
Try and surround yourself with people who make you feel good and boost your self-esteem. Unfortunately, some people in our lives trigger negative thoughts about ourselves which fuel low self-esteem. Try and limit your interactions with these people and spend more time with those that give you a boost. Also being a supportive friend to others can help boost your self-esteem and make you feel good. Talking to someone you trust like a therapist, friend, or family member about how you feel can provide you with a lot of support.
if you would like to speak further about boosting your self esteem, psychological therapy may be able to help. Call us on 07870 241970, email hello@nepsychology-co-uk.stackstaging.com or contact us to book your free initial consultation.
