Throughout life, we all experience moments where it feels too much, regardless of age. However, the transition of becoming a young adult is a time when big decisions need to be made, as well as increased responsibility and pressure to achieve in exams. It is possibly the first experience we have where we must learn how to cope with the expectations placed on us.
These pressures and expectations can help us stay motivated and focused to reach our desired goals. But if we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards, it can harm our overall well-being and we risk burning out.
‘The right kind of pressure can turn you into a diamond; the wrong kind can turn you to dust’
Recently research has shown a concerning increase in the number of young people feeling unable to cope with the pressure to succeed and fear making mistakes. These pressures can come from different sources like family members, friends, school, coaches, and society as well as the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves. It tends to come from a place of good intentions, where your loved ones want the best for you, but sometimes, unfortunately, it also causes pressure and stress.
Common signs that you are struggling to cope with these expectations are:
Constantly feeling like a failure
Issues with relationships
Concentration issues
Changes in eating habits
Issues with sleep or feeling fatigued
Learning how to cope with and manage pressures and expectations is an important life tool, so knowing what works for you will make it easier to create healthy habits to manage stress in the future. Here are 4 tips that could help you cope if any pressures or expectations are getting too much for you.
Talk to someone
Talking through how you are feeling with someone you trust can help you get things off your chest. Keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself can make a situation feel even more overwhelming so talking through them can help you process them and find a solution. Even just writing your thoughts down could be helpful or seeking help from a therapist if you are struggling.
Talking to someone in a similar situation or who has been through it could help ease some of the pressure you are feeling. If a particular person is setting any unrealistic expectations, causing you stress, maybe discussing how you are feeling with them could help as they may be unaware of the pressure, they are putting on you.
If you are struggling the Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year on 116 123 or visit their website https://www.samaritans.org.
Accept challenge
This period of your life will be filled with a lot of uncertainty and unique challenges so at times it can become overwhelming but trying to ignore it will only add to the pressure and stress. It’s important to remember to be kind to yourself and face these challenges head-on.
It can be helpful to set aside time to reassess your goals and see if it is still something you want to do outside the pressures of what others are telling you to do. This can be challenging but you don’t need to figure everything out in one day – take the time to discover what would make you truly happy.
Give yourself options
Becoming very focused on a goal can help motivate you however becoming too focused can have negative consequences. If our expectations are only focused on one outcome like getting a specific grade or job title, and we don’t get it, it can be disappointing. A grade doesn’t define you as a person and you are not doomed to fail at life just from one small setback.
Giving yourself options can help you be prepared for when things don’t go exactly your way. Sometimes things don’t work out exactly how we imagined, and that’s okay but it’s important to remember that there is never just one set path to achieve your goals.
Take time out for yourself
Scheduling time to relax regularly is important to help you cope with pressure and stress. This could be going out with friends, taking time out for creativity, watching a film, or enjoying a mindful moment in the bath – do whatever works for you!
Stress can have an extremely negative effect on your physical and mental well-being. Regular exercise, eating healthy and getting enough sleep can help you feel your best and take on any challenges you are facing. Building up healthy habits now to combat pressure will help you cope in the future.
Final takeaway
A key thing to remember is that you will not be the first and only person to feel this way and you will not be the last. Make sure any big decisions you are making are right for you and not just to satisfy anyone else’s expectations of you. Finally, be kind to yourself, this is a period of your life with big and exciting changes so try not to let any pressures or expectations burn you out so much that you can’t enjoy it.
If you would like to speak with us about accessing additional support you can contact us using the contact page, emailing hello@nepsychology.co.uk or calling 07870 241970.
