Our thoughts are just words we say privately to ourselves, yet if we let them, they can have a powerful influence over us. We all have reoccurring thoughts or feelings that seem to have a strong hold on us. But when we are hooked to these thoughts it can prevent us from living in the present and can have a huge impact on our mental wellbeing.
When our lives become dictated by our thoughts it can be incredibly overwhelming. Learning tools to create some distance between you and difficult thoughts and feelings can help provide some relief. It is not about ignoring or fighting these thoughts, it is about changing the way we look and relate to them. They won’t go away but we can reduce their power over us by reinforcing that they are just words, not facts.
“You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf” Jon Kabat-Zinn
It may feel silly to start with and it will take some practice, but these simple techniques could help you unhook from difficult thoughts and feelings.
Sing it
Next time you start to focus on a difficult thought or feeling try singing it. This could be in your head or out loud but pick a song and replace the lyrics with your chosen thought. For example, if the little voice in your head is telling you that you’re hopeless or you are a loser try replacing the words to happy birthday or your favourite song with them.
Karaoke
If singing is not your thing or you want to add a visual element, try imagining your difficult thought or feeling on a screen with a karaoke ball bouncing above it. Watch this repeatedly until your difficult thought just becomes some words on a screen.
Change the voice
Is there a particular voice you find funny? If so, try to imagine whatever phrase you are hooked on in that voice. For example, try to imagine saying to yourself “I am a loser” in Shrek’s or Mickey Mouse’s voice.
Change the font
Try to imagine whatever negative thought or feeling has you hooked on a computer screen. It should start as black text on a white background. Now try and change the font, colours, background and add some animations. Have some fun with it!
Cake
This can be a fun one! Try and imagine your chosen thought or self-judgement written beautifully on top of a cake. It can be powerful to see your thoughts as just words written on something, giving you choice on how to respond to them.
If the cake doesn’t work for you try billboards, bus timetables, shop signs or even a banner flying behind a plane. Get creative with it.
Mindfulness
Doing mindfulness exercises can help you notice and unhook from difficult thoughts. Learning to just notice our thoughts without becoming overwhelmed by them can be difficult but there are several mindfulness exercises you can access that can help. This includes visual exercises like putting your thoughts on a leaf and watching them float down a stream.
Identify your thought and thank it
When you notice that you are being critical towards yourself you can talk to your mind as if it was a person. You could give it the name of someone you know or make one up. When you are hooked on a thought or feeling, identify it and thank your mind as if you were having a conversation.
For example, if you are hooked on the thought that everybody hates you, just notice it, then say to yourself, ’thanks for sharing Steve’ or ‘there’s that thought again, thank you mind’.
If you would like to find out more about these techniques therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help. Email hello@nepsycholgy.co.uk, call 07870 241970 or contact us to book a free initial consultation.
